Friday, September 30, 2005
There's so much in me I wanna let go of... but I know it'll take time.
There's so much I wanna say... but each time, I get tongue-tied.
There's so much I wanna do... but so little time, so little resources, not enough motivation.
I'm in a blank mood today. Dunno whether to cry, laugh, smile or stone. Who can understand how I feel? I really wonder. I'm lousy at communicating my emotions, feelings and thoughts. That's exactly why I have a diary and now, this blog. All my life, no-one has understood me fully. I expect no-one to see anything anytime soon.
I've always been one who believes in love. Regardless of how much I've been hurt by it before, I still believe that true love exists in this world. I refuse to let a few bad experiences spoil it all for me. Many might not understand the meaning of true love...maybe even I don't really comprehend. But here's my interpretation -
It's simple. It doesn't need flowery language or pampering gifts. Two beings in love don't have to spend every single minute together to feel the love they share. Similar likes and hobbies need not be a necessity. All it takes is understanding, compromising and loving the entire package. To convince me that you truly love me, all it takes is your word that you'll be there for me when I'm down, to share my happiness with me and that you'll not try to change me from the way I am. I love you and I'll do everything within my means to meet your expectations of a good lover. I'll always be there whenever you're down, whenever you're bored and I'll still be there even when you don't need me. Everything I do will ultimately lead my thoughts back to you. No, my life doesn't have to revolve around you but my heart and my mind does. Don't ask me why, for you'll get the simplest of answers:" I love you". If it takes my whole life to convince you that I'll be loving you, I'll do it. If ever you think you want out, just tell me straight, and you'll get out. You can stop loving me, but you cannot stop me from loving you. When it comes to love, it's between 2 beings. I don't really care what others think or what others say. What matters most is what you think and what you say.
It took me a hell lot of courage to say I love you. And it'll take me a lifetime to prove what I say is true. It's probably too early for words of promise but I'll say what I wanna say. We may not be the best of match cos of differing interests, hobbies and even lifestyles. But I'll do all I can to make it work simply because my heart says so. Things might be difficult, and things might seem scary. The road ahead will seem daunting but as long as you keep saying you love me, I'll smoothen it all out as much as I can. I'm leaving the past behind. Because I'm working on building a future based on the present. Presently, I have you. I'm wishing with all my heart that my future has you too. They say life is a journey to a common destination known as Death. To me, what matters most is how I travel the path. I wanna walk it with you if you'll walk it with me. I dunno if you know who you are, but it's okay...cos my heart has a clear idea who it wants. I miss you so much and though you might be sick of hearing it, I love you...with all my heart and all my soul. Enjoy your day...you deserve it.
'fallen_angel'
5:02 AM
