Monday, October 03, 2005
boring sunday
++++++++++
woke up at 2 pm with one hell of a splitting headache.
think it's the freaking hangover from last night's chardonnay.
sigh
had lunch made up of white gardenia bread with bacon and luncheon meat
still hungry but guess i'll make up for it with dinner later
watched CSI supreme sunday earlier and i never fail to be impressed with each and every episode.
all that logical thinking, lab work, etc...though it's all fictional, i'm still very much in awe.
when i was a little girl, i had the dream of studying all about criminology and understand the complicated minds of human beings.
but as i grew up, i decided the world has a side that's too ugly and life would be so much sweeter if we don't analyse and look too far into it.
so here i am today, hospitality and tourism management.
i'm so much happier dedicating my career to making people's day.
in this industry, knowledge is not as important as passion. to succeed, it takes determination, passion, love and lots of patience. i believe i have all, and even more.
now i'm watching the re-run of EPL's man utd vs. fulham from last night.
having been a loyal man utd fan since i was 12, i cannot say i'm happy with their results in the recent seasons.
ferguson's getting on in years and new blood might be needed to lift the devils again.
recent transfer of players, in and out, i'm doubtful but from the looks of it, i like Park Ji Sung.
lotsa energy in him, strong down the centre of the field and clever passes, clever play all in all.
his holding it up with the bigger boys from the west and it's something to admire...
haven't had the mind to watch soccer recently but i'm still keeping a lookout.
one thing i must say is that i liked kieran richardson alot...i'm sad he's left. oh well.
about last night.
i dunno if i did the right thing by saying what i said but i'm glad i did, to a certain extent.
i feel a little more assured no doubt but there are things only time can tell.
to everyone, i might seem self-confident in every way...
but in truth, i'm a girl with low self-esteem and an inferior complex at times.
when that happens, i slip onto the edge of depression and anything, anything at all can topple me right into the depths of it. it has happened before and i'm not ashamed to say it. depression has been a part of my life over the past 4 years and only i know how i've been living a double life all this while. in front of everyone else, my loved ones, friends and acquaintances, i'm a normal teenager trying to get through everything life throws in my path. deep down inside, i've become withdrawn, quiet and inferior. i can no longer count the number of nights i remain tossing and turning in bed with nothing on my mind and tears flow on their own free will. don't ask me why i cry myself to sleep because i have no idea even. usually i wake up and i'll be fine once again.
those nights have been a distant memories of recent months. guess things are changing for the better and it certainly means i'm happier than before. thank you, my dear. i'm sorry about last night if i've scared you... i promise i'll stop thinking that way and just enjoy our time together. these things, only time can tell. i love you... more than i ever thought i would. now i know u do too.
'fallen_angel'
6:59 AM
