Sunday, October 02, 2005
hopelessness is juz a state of mind
+++++++++++++++++++++++
to err once, it's expected.
to err twice, it's merely human.
to err thrice, it's forgivable.
to err any more than that, i'll have to start looking back on myself.
have i erred once again?
i had a choice, i made it with total conviction and passion.
i felt it was right.
was it?
i know i'll never regret.
but will i come to feel sorry for myself?
it's a huge question mark over my head...
someone gimme the answer please...
people say it's better to be loved than to love.
i beg to differ cos i wanna love
it's not easier but it's so much more satisfying.
i only want to be loved the way i can love...
will the day come?
perhaps, maybe, probably.
hopes and dreams are what i have and will always be what i hold on to.
..............................................
i'm home.
spent the entire day out in town with him.
watched 2 movies - corpse bride and 4 brothers.
corpse bride was really corny, with a lousy storyline, but nice generally...good laughs all around.
4 brothers played with humanity in the dank and dark lanes of Detroit, America. gruesome, mindless and rather interesting.
one point to note in the whole day was lunch at Burger King, Wheelock Place.
Lousy service, poorly trained staff and super slow service...i wouldn't go back there again if i ever had a choice so that's just one friendly warning for all my friends out there.
now it's 10.54 on my computer's time and i'm at my humble abode, drinking french chardonnay. not some expensive vintage but still has a rather good touch of apricots and citrus. refreshing, but not good enough.
given a choice, i'd be at the beautiful City Space bar up on the 69th floor of Swissotel sipping margaritas but with a tight budget, i've gotta be satisfied with whatever i've got.
i can't seem to explain the sudden urge to drink something nice, strong and alcoholic but the urge was there nonetheless and i believe in satisfying all my urges as much as possible. so now, i've got another bottle of vodka passion lying in the bar fridge waiting for me to finish up with the chardonnay. i'll take my time with it =)
i feel as though something's not quite right but i can't seem to put a definite finger on what is indeed wrong. i just wish if there was something truly off, someone would tell me. i've been feeling restless for many many nights now and it feels as though i'm just waiting to see what's gonna happen. instinct somehow's telling me that it's gonna be bad. i dunno what it is, and i pray i'll never need to know.
i'm sorta satisfied with my life right now...being in the relationship with the one i love, having some time off to be on my own and chill, not having to worry so much about household bills anymore and having the freedom i've always yearned for. i know i'll start working soon cos i'm born a restless soul and a workaholic...i can't stop for long. it's just a matter of sooner or later now.
'fallen_angel'
2:12 PM
