Thursday, October 27, 2005
rainy day, gloomy day, sleepy day.
it has been raining around my area since early this morning. till now. it's already 5 pm.
and the rain made me a sleepyhead.
i woke up only at 4 pm.
it was great...to sleep ever so peacefully like that.
Next week's the last week of holidays and i'm definitely looking forward to school starting.
and thank god, Lilian says I don't have to do this promotion at John Little.
Though it's a little sad that I don't get to earn the money but I really hate to work just before school starts.
I'd rather spend my time slacking at home and chilling with friends.
So guys, if Tuesday's KTV is still on, I'm on!haha.
and i so wanna get some exercise done before term starts and we'll all be too busy.
cycling anybody?*winkz*
i've tried advising my friends with this phrase and i think it's rather true at times -
" Nothing seems to last forever, so just enjoy it while it lasts. At least there'll be memories to hold on too when it's no longer there."
sigh.
i was talking to an ex-classmate and it occurred to me that i'm not the only one feeling the way i'm feeling so it's not that i'm weird or anything. it's just circumstances that make things turn out the way they do or will. it just gets more and more difficult.
i believe i am strong enough and determined enough to see it through. but is everyone else like me? will it be easier for them to give up and look for something simpler? i surely hope not.
there are times when everything seems so innocent and harmless...just pure fun and joy. but there are other times when things just seems out of place. like everything's so forced and not natural. it's as if it's not meant to be but it's being forced to be. i don't really know what i'm muttering here and certainly, it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Ah ma has gone to M'sia Sarawak with Aunt for cataract operation and to get away from her life here under the tyranny of my uncle. he's such a bastard and i'm ashamed that he shares the same surname as me. ugh. but his sons are the best thing that could have happened to me. they grew up with me and cared endlessly for me when i was young and even till today.
i'm so worried...hope everything goes smoothly.
she'll only be back for Chinese New Year many many months later.
and more likely than not, she'll go back to Sarawak to live after that.
sigh.
i grew up under her care and now that she's not around, it's just weird.
it's weird not having soup at home when i feel like drinking something warm and soothing.
she's the only one who knows what i love to eat best and never fails to cook my favourite dishes when she know's i'm home for dinner. and no-one can ever cook like her.
she's so old now that i can't help thinking that i might never get to see her again everytime she leaves to go somewhere.
she's the coolest grandma one can ever hope to have...she's strong and resilient...i admire her greatly.
and unlike others, she hardly nags at me and she shows her pride whenever i get good results in school or when i achieve something.
it's gonna be a difficult and depressing few months till the next time i see her again.
i love her so much and i sure hope i get a chance to tell her that soon.
on a lighter note, Harry Potter's new movie is coming out on the 17 Nov.
yay!
i'm not a fan but i always look forward to his movies cos of the hype that's generated and i just dun wanna miss out. anyway every of them i've watched never disappointed me and i enjoyed them.
maybe it's cos i dun read the book but who cares? as long as i like it.
was actually planning to watch it with him but he says he wanna watch with other peeps so...
nevermind lah.
i'll just watch with other people...though i know it'll be different...
asked a few people but most are planning to watch with their significant other halves.
me? dunno. maybe my family. be a nice sister and bring Drago to watch Harry Potter.
sigh...i'll get over it soon lar...
if it was someone else, he'll say watch together with everyone who wants to watch but since things are like that now, i'll accept.
sometimes what's past is past and can never be brought back.
decisions made cannot be remade.
paths chosen cannot be backtracked.
things changed cannot be unchanged.
whatever it is, there are lotsa guys and gals i miss and i want back in my life but it's highly unlikely now.
life goes on......
'fallen_angel'
5:30 PM
