Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Day Four of his absence.
+++++++++++
bleah
i can't believe i'm even counting.
he's all the way in Hokkaido, Sapporo now
sigh
another boring day.
went TP in the afternoon for project meeting
and as usual, Alvin MIA-ed, and was at home sleeping at our meeting time, 2 pm.
shittified.
so fed-up sia.
sigh
made good progress with projects...doing well so far..hope we don't lose steam later like we always do...
went down to town after meeting to walk around.
wanted to get a replacement of the Forever21 earrings i lost,
ended up buying the golden one instead of the silver one...cos...it was out of stock!!!
sad.
but ended up with 2 new sets of bangles.
shit...waste money only lar
then, went to kinokuniya to look for my Red Lily.
and i found the exact version i needed to complete my collection!
phew.
wanted to get some FM resources from Orchard library but sadly, don't have.
that pathetic library is scarce of all important resources.
to save my already thinning wallet resource, i went home.
and here i am.
haha...
another day of missing him just passed.
at least 2 to 3 more days to go.
there's so much i wanna say to him but i think i'll be speechless all over again when he gets back
sigh
i wonder why
i never seem to have anything to talk about...
but when we don't call each other everynight,
i feel this hideous void somewhere in my heart.
i know i've not been totally honest with everything in my life...
and i don't need anyone to tell me that
but isn't it better to look forward and ahead instead of backwards and into the rearview mirror?
sigh
i hope everyone around me can understand that...
i hope people can stop reminding me of things that happened in the past
i'm trying to build up a new life for myself
because i still have the belief that this world can be a beautiful place to live in...
a beautiful place my children and grandchildren of the future can grow up in.
so
i desperately wnat that chance to design my life the way i want it to be...
full of love, beauty, warmth and lots more...
i know the ugly side...but i also believe that it can be ignored and left out of your sight if you really want to.
sounds idealistic?
but what's a life withour hopes and dreams?i'm dreaming...
of a white christmas...
and so much so much more...
who can give it to me?
'fallen_angel'
8:41 PM