Tuesday, December 13, 2005
it's just one thing that puzzles me.
what is it about me that people hate so much?
especially when it comes to project work or work in general
whenever i'm the one who takes the lead,
i don't get cooperation from almost everyone.
there's only such a small handful that appreciates.
don't ask who they are.
good or bad, you know who you are.
if there's anything i'm doing wrong, please tell me so i have the opportunity to change.
if there's nothing i'm doing wrong, it means u're just biased against me.
and if that's the case, please please keep your warped opinions to yourselves and focus on the job at hand, finish it and that's it.
that difficult?
u might think u're keeping it subtle
but let me tell you (or you all) that it's damn bloody obvious.
the next time you guys wanna talk behind my back, try harder.
and the next time you wanna practise your skills on ignoring me, try it when it's not so important, i.e. when we're not in the midst of a project discussion.
you guys really don't like me at the helm of the project, say so.
i'll step down.
seriously.
if u wanna maintain your silence, then eat up your discontentment and work with me.
you think i really fucking hell wanna be sitting there trying to get things done?
you think i'm not fucking sick and tired of enduring all that crapo for the past 5 weeks?
you think it fucking hell doesn't hurt?
i'm human too, whatever you might think.
no matter how hard i try
it doesn't seem to make any difference
i'm really close to giving up
but i know i can't
my name wouldn't be Cleo if i just gave up like that.
i'm really really grateful for the mid-semester test and break week coming up next week.
a timely break indeed.
if it wasn't for that, i dunno how long more i can hold on.
sadly, the one i need to be around me, won't be there.
"'tis the season to be jolly"?
i'd say it's more like " 'tis the season to be lonely"...
i can't cry, for i've ran out of tears
i can't remember the last time since yesterday that i cried 3 or more times within one day.
i'm thoroughly exhausted...
now, gotta go compile the disgusting culinary project report...edit all the stuff and figure out what else to do.
bye all...i'll be back again
'fallen_angel'
5:13 PM
