Tuesday, December 06, 2005
this is officially gonna be my last post here on this blog.
i'm gonna miss blogging,
but i'll not miss the consequences.
to me, blogging has lost it's original meaning and hence, i'm gonna revert back to the traditional diary...
it's personal and no-one gets to read it...saves everyone alot of trouble doesn't it?
about my previous post, please don't read too much into it.
it's merely my feelings at that time and i needed an outlet to vent my frustrations.
no biggie.
i promised that i won't delete the entire blog,
but there'll also not be anymore new entries from tomorrow onwards.
maybe i might set up a totally new blog sometime in the near future
but when that time comes, it'll be kept a secret from the whole world.
i am missing you like never before but i know i have to control my feelings now.
and the whole day today was a disaster for me.
i admit that i didn't sleep more than 5 winks last night
and i was in school with swollen red eyes.
for culinary proficiency test. i won't be surprised if i flunked it.
but i couldn't help it.
and then again, i guess it's for the better?
the conversation from last night is still so clear in my mind
and the more i think of it, the more i think what i said was true.
even u agreed with me.
but what are we supposed to do about all that?
i need to know...
whatever might happen, you know very well that i love you.
i always had.
though at times i wish i didn't fall as hard as i did.
i know i've done so many wrong things throughout the past few months
and no words can possibly express how horrible i'm feeling now.
so many of the things i did and said were a mistake.
reflecting upon it all, i realised i'm the culprit for almost everything.
i wanna save the situation and to do that, i'll have to change and improve my attitude i guess.
i'm sorry for it all
sigh
all i wanna say now is that you have been wonderful all around, despite everything.
the immense fun i had when with you will stay as perfect memories for a long time to come.
it's times like this that i wished i believed in something...
a religion maybe...
in the hope that it'll gimme some strength.
as a final note, everything i've ever posted here before is and was my truest feelings from the bottom of my heart.
i don't care who approves and who doesn't.
afterall, this is the final episode of it all.
i guess nothing lasts forever...when the curtains fall at the end of the show, the lights come on and people leave, leaving the theatre empty...save for the lonely souls and miserable ghosts...what's there to keep in your heart?~the love remains, till the stars stop shining and till winter decides to visit in summer~
'fallen_angel'
2:07 PM
