Friday, June 30, 2006
before i enter slumberland
i've got this sudden urge to recount my most memorable birthdays
one i'll never forget is my 14th birthday
my birthday, like this year, was on a monday.
i was in my very first relationship at that time, and very much in love
or so i thought...
in the midst of the school holidays, i had lots of free time on my hands and wanted to spend it with my first special someone.
so the sunday before my actual birthday, the 11th, i had a great time out with my boyfriend...
spent an entire day out together and it felt like the best birthday i've had in ages.
i was a happy girl essentially...
sadly, the euphoria didnt last for long.
tuesday, a day after my birthday, i received a call from someone i didnt know
and the essence of the conversation was basically him telling me how my boyfriend was out with another girl on the friday before, and how he was making out with that same girl the next day, saturday, at her home. and he had the cheek to celebrate my birthday for me the very next day. what nerve!
at that time, i felt like the world just came a-crashing down on me
what was i to do?
confront?
eventually, i did. but all i got was vehement denials for weeks and weeks on end
the pain and the hurt that you experience when you've been cheated on, is so immense... especially when you put all faith in your partner and it's something so least expected.
and the least i had hoped from him was honesty and remorse.
but none came...
it was the worse sort of birthday gift any girl can ever ask for
and that was what i go for my 14th birthday
from my first love
next in line would have to be this year's 19th birthday
if you've read my blog recently, i think you'd know the reason one
it was spent in misery at home
with no significant mention of my birthday by either of my parents
no happy birthday, a pathetic cake only because my baby brother insisted on one, and no nothing from them.
there was a time when mummy used to buy me cards and write me sweet little messages on them... like she knew i was a soccer fan and she bought me a card with the picture of a girl kicking a soccer ball. in it she wrote:"no matter how old you are, you'll always be my little girl"
so simple but so treasured
i dont blame her, but i cant help but feel the way i feel too
last year's birthday was one i enjoyed too
18 years old
the only cake and birthday song i got was from my beloved group mates
angela, shawn, gavin and alvin
we were at the 10 dollar ktv when they conspired to go get cakes for me
i was really touched by it
and i really miss those times we shared
chionging projects, singing at the ktv, etc
the year before
17 years old
the only cake and birthday song i got was from my lovely colleagues at work
when i was still at Kovan Minitoons
we were about to leave the outlet after closing cos it was already 11 plus at night
when they shut off all the lights and brought out a cake
it was heartwarming
till today, i cannt forget those folks i worked with...
the ones who took care of me like i was their sister and daughter
the manager who had faith in me and trusted my abilities so completely
the person who kept me company when i was down and eventually broke my heart
so many memories in one place.. that night was the happiest...
in fact,
i cant even remember the last time my family bought a birthday cake or even truly celebrated my birthday for me
i think ever since i was 12, mum and dad decided that i was too old for birthday cakes already
so it just abruptly stopped
but seriously, is anyone ever too old for birthday cakes?
it would mean so much more to be from them, instead of anyone else
but the weirdest thing?
my sis chloe still get swensens' cake every single year, till now, when she's already 17.
seems as though she never can get old enough huh?
see shawn? that's what i meant by being the eldest child has pros and cons. you seem to grow up earlier and faster, in the eyes of your elders.
oh well...
next year, i'll be turning 20.
we'll see.
'fallen_angel'
2:36 AM
