Saturday, July 22, 2006
i hate myself for being so weak
i hate my tears for not listening to me
why am i crying again?
what for?
what's the point?
does it help anything?
but...
i can't help it...
i think my dark eye rings are not from getting not enough sleep
it's probably from crying too much and rubbing too hard when i wipe the tears off
i really hate to quarrel with you
it really hurts
everytime we speak,
i cry
why?
why is it i have to love you so much?
if i don't, it wouldnt hurt
and i'd be numb to all this pain
wouldn't i?
everything is taking a massive toll on me
family
love/relationships
school
project
finances
health
i feel like giving up on everything
nothing seems to be going right for me
i tell people to be satisfied with what you already have
cos only then you'll know how lucky you are indeed
but
is there anything for me to be happy about?
anything for me to be satisfied with?
seriously?
my family's a mess
my love life is... well... a worse mess... a total failure in fact.
school's ok... but not doing as well as i should be
projects... are a disaster... looking at the horrendous emails being sent around and i feel like crying all over again.
finances... well... my bills are all overdue again
health... feeling sick on and off... weather maybe... or maybe not.
sigh
maybe i should just be happy that i'm alive and well
but...
what's the point of being alive and unhappy?
i rather not be.
it's a saturday night...
what are you doing?
i'm letting my tears flow freely...
what a sad sad life.
'fallen_angel'
10:22 PM