Wednesday, August 30, 2006
DPD's finally over.
And I don't wanna comment on how well I might do because I know I did all I can...
How well I end up doing will be up to how much moderation takes place I guess...
oh well.
And that also means it's the end to examinations in TP.
no more...
though it sucks,
i'm still gonna miss all of it.
studying with my sayang rozy at our regular benches,
taking breaks ever so often,
and gorging ourselves with food from Cheers and Biz Park.
sigh.
memories.
thank goodness rozy will be doing her SIP with moi!
haha.
ok i'll stop gloating.
anyway,
went to KBox at Marine Parade after the paper with Gavin, Shawn, Jocelyn, Siok, Weiting and Siying.
Had one of my worse times at KTV ever.
But it's all due to personal reasons, so don't be offended in any way...
We were there from about 2.30 to 9.40 pm.
7 hours of singing.
and usually,
i'll be high and it helps to erase all my troubles. at least for that period of time.
but today,
all i could think of was: when is my hp going to ring?
will it be who i'm expecting?
will it be who i'm waiting for?
i was in no mood at all.
absolutely.
everyone there could attest to it i'm sure.
i wasn't singing,
i was drinking tiger beer (like, eww? beer?),
i was keeping to myself at one corner of the small room.
so everyone for being kinda anti-social today...
really wasn't in a good mood.
i keep thinking to myself... if he really doesnt call, does it really signal the end?
do i really have to once again put down everything to take the initiative?
even though nothing was my fault?
even though he's the one who is supposed to convince me that i should forgive him and give him another chance?
or maybe he doesnt want the chance anymore.
maybe that's it.
i cant think of any other explanation for this whole day of "no contact".
maybe this time it really is over... is it?
sigh...
i thought the usual gang can help me drive away my troubles like they always have...
but seems like today's a bad day for everyone.
it wasnt of any use.
i wish i went home and hid myself in bed the whole day after my paper this morning.
i wish nothing has ever changed in my life.
i wish...
sigh...
wishes are bullshit material that only serves to life your hopes sky high and dump everything on you at the end of the day, making you mor miserable than you ever were before.
whatever happens,
happens for a reason.
but the reason better be a good and valid one...
i feel like burying myself in the midst of my newly changed comforter and sleeping my whole life away.
i dont wanna have to do anything anymore...
everything sucks right now.
by the way, which girl in her right mind eats KFC 4 times in one week, 2 times in a day?
i did that.
piece of shit.
no wonder i'm putting on so much weight.
argh!!!!
i'm gonna go while my life away and rot myself to sleepy death, while trying not to keep both ears on my phone. and trying not to have any hopes.
fuck this life.
'fallen_angel'
11:35 PM