Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Here's a big, fat thank you to everyone who offered me their advice based on the dilemma I posted last night.
I really really do appreciate each and every one of your help =)
But, everyone's opinions are really quite conflicting and I realised that ultimately, no matter what everyone else says, I have to decide for myself.
Well, suffice to say that I'm still pretty confused.
But at least I have all the pros and cons of each path mapped out for myself already.
This means that all I'm left with now is which option gives me the pros I want and less cons.
SIGH.
Enough said about that.
If you are woried about my lastest entry from late last night, don't.
It's just one of those common things I do and it's not important.
I'll get over it.
For almost one year, it has been happening but everytime, I get over it.
So I'm not gonna remove it, and neither am I gonna let myself be bothered about it.
As the saying goes: "Live and let live."
For 2 persons in a relationship,
the most crucial skill is that.
How well you can overlook and take in everything that will normally upset you,
will, at the end of the day, determine how well you handle the relationship.
And that, my dears, will determine whether it's happily ever after for you guys.
Or will it be kiss goodbye?
You decide.
Many a time,
you cannnot control what the other party does.
And neither can you chnage it.
You can only control what YOU do, in response to what he/she does.
I know it's getting confusing but I just mean that after what happen last night,
all those tears shed made me realise that if I really do want to make all this work out for the better, i have to start getting a grip on myself.
I need to learn how to give more than I take.
I need to learn how to bear in mind the fact that 'if he doesn't love me the way I want him to, it doesn't mean that he's not loving me with all he's got.'
I need to learn how to give broader benefits of the doubt.
I need to erase doubts from forming in my head.
I need to trust with all my heart.
Can I do that?
I hope I can... it'll be difficult cos trusting is not easy for me.
And because I love you, I'll try my very best.
But if trying is not good enough for you, I dunno what else to do.
Just remember that trying can result in success or failure.
Don't say I didn't try just because I failed.
I always thought I have given in my all over the past year...
But perhaps, it's just not enough... just not good enough...
I'll work harder...
For now,
I've got 2 exam papers to study for.
OB on Friday, and DPD next Wednesday.
I really have to work harder...
Here's my coursework grades so far:
DPD - B+
OB - B+
BusEnt - B+
now,
I'm left with Ticketing to ponder over.
Oh and French as well.
For French I'm not so worried...
Even if I don't get my distinction or A, I should be able to get a B+. but most likely to be an A. That's if Professeur J doesn't penalise my whole class for the culture quiz. And if Professeur A is fair about the Oral test. Sigh. Oh did I mention that Prof. J called me this afternoon? Got a shock of my life cos he doesn't even teach me and I barely know him. Does he know I have a crush on him? hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... hahaha... I hope not. Cos I DON'T. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about why he called... ask me in private if you wanna know. ;)
So yeah.
There you go.
I'm pretty happy with my course work grades this semester.
And that's why I need to work really really hard to try to achieve my As again.
I wanna pull up my GPA!
If I get all B+s this semester, this sem's GPA will be a 3.5.
Which means I have hope of pulling my present GPA of 3.2 closer to the NTU requirements...
hehe...
I want my As!!!
god bless me...
I've screwed up enough the past 2 semesters.
I wanna get back into the DHLs...
I wanna make my mum proud again.
I don't wanna live in the shadows of my brilliantly clever sister who will definitely be a top DHL student.
I am as good.
I will succeed!
argh.
(major self-consolation)
sigh.
gonna go to bed so I can put all my energy into studying tmw...
at TP.
I'm skipping my checkup for studying.
It better be worth it.
Ciao Ciao...
'fallen_angel'
11:45 PM