Thursday, August 24, 2006
i really didn't expect you to take it all out on my tagboard.
now i'm just sorry i cannot control the contents on my tagboard.
sigh
you vented on your own territory - your blog. fine. fair enough.
you vented in your smses to me earlier. fine too. fair enough as well.
but my tagboard?
it's not meant for a purpose like that.
no wonder you don't wanna put tagboard on SA blog.
ok no link. but anyway.
sigh...
i dunno what else to say now.
you want me to admit that everything's my fault?
that i was the one in the wrong?
that you did nothing wrong?
ok fine.
sorry to those who asked me not to take the first step... as you can see, it doesn't work that way for us. i got no choice now. it's this or nothing.
so to my dear boyfriend,
i apologise.
to you.
publicly.
since you brought the quarrel to the public domains of my tagboard,
i shall apologise here too.
i'm sorry.
before you can snap at me and say:"do you even know what you're sorry for? do you even mean it?" like you always do,
let me answer it first.
yes i do know what i'm sorry for.
i'm sorry for getting all riled up and angry when you went to play scrabble, computer games and pool when we were supposed to be studying in the SU lounge.
if i knew earlier, i would have stayed outside the LTs, or left for TM first.
so at least if i didn't know, no harm no foul.
so for all that, i'm really sorry.
guess i shouldnt have got pissed off
guess i should have warned you that you were on the verge of getting me angry BEFORE i actually got angry.
i'm sorry.
and also, the 2nd thing i'm sorry for is not accepting your explanations when i told you i was angry.
but as with everyone in this pathetic little planet called Earth, people are usually deaf to explanations when emotions run high and tensions are walking on tightrope.
guess that's why i'm sorry...
cos i let my emotions take control of me and made my brain ignore all explanations you attempted to voice out.
i'm so very sorry.
3rd thing.
like i mentioned earlier,
i'm sorry i let you walk out that door when you were pissed.
i'm sorry i couldnt put my unhappiness aside and chase after you.
i'm sorry i didn't think of giving in and begged you to stay.
i'm sorry. i shold have known that i had to be the one who went after you and made you stay.
i should have known that letting you leave like that was equivalent to letting a ticking time bomb prowl the streets... and honestly, that's why i expected those contents on my tagboard. that's why i knew to check on my tagboard the moment i got home.
i'm sorry... for not solving the issue right there and then, so that it won't linger around like it did.
i'm sorry by brain is so clogged up with confusion right now that i'm not making much sense.
i'm sorry that i can't find the courage to click on that name of yours on my MSN list to talk to you now.
i'm sorry if you see a million typos here cos my vision is already clouding up... no thanks to the disgustingly overworked tear glands of mine. apparently they are so active that there's no such thing as what people call 'no more tears'
i know what you're gonna say now cos you said it to me 2 nights ago... that no-one made me cry... I MADE MYSELF CRY MOST OF THE TIME.
and you know what?
i guess i actually do agree.
cos it is always my choice whether i wanna cry or not rite?
or maybe sometimes i just think too much and let unnecessary things affect myself.
is that right?
well, maybe. a little. sometimes.
maybe people should also realise that girls will always be girls. sensitive creatures that are easily affected.
sigh.
i'm really rambling.
my head hurts like crazy, as it always does when i cry too hard.
and i should be sleeping.
but i cant stop my mind from thinking, my fingers from typing, my tears from flowing, nor my eyes for not shutting.
i logged on for the initial purpose of blogging about the pretty nice show i watched with my cousin just now...
snakes on a plane.
but now,
totally no mood.
all i can say is that it's a pretty good show.
samuel l. jackson alone is worth the entire price of the movie ticket.
at least to me.
snakes galore.
and i hope i dreams of snakes tonight.
not you.
i love you... like crazy. but you drive me crazy sometimes. maybe what the guys said is true. i chould cut you some slack. ignore some of the things you do that upset me. my life will be simpler, easier and happier. but will you do the same for me? i doubt.
'fallen_angel'
12:41 AM
