Thursday, August 31, 2006
"When a guy doesn't love you the way you want him to, doesn't mean that he doesn't love you with all he has."
this is a quote that has appeared on my blog more than a few times.
and i know there's a few people out there who has benefitted from reading this on my blog.
but you would also know that it's easier said than done.
but then again,
i know he loves me...
and i've never doubted the fact that he does.
but things have become so difficult...
i'm lost.
i dunno what to do now...
dear,
you said i should love you for who you are.
and i'm telling you i do.
i really do.
everytime i get angry or upset,
its only because i'm trying to make you aware of your bad habits and that you should correct them.
for your own good because i dont want people to think of you or look at you as a slob with no care for your image.
i dont get angry for no rhyme or reason.
sigh.
i dont know how to explain it to you.
you said i can get angry.
but be sweet and not get frustrated.
but really...
be sweet when i'm angry/upset?!?!it's something that nobody in this world can do all the time.
you think i like being angry?
it's taxing on me too.
if you think you dont deserve all this,
then me neither.
i admit i like being treated like a million bucks.
so?
which girl doesnt like to be treated like a princess?
sigh.
i love you tian.
but if this is taking so big a toll on us,
i dunno what to do already.
you want me to be nice.
you want me to be sweet.
you want me not to get angry at you so often.
i want to be able to do all that too!
but though i can say i will try to not be pissed so often,
it's not possible for me to be nice and sweet when i am not happy.
really. it's impossible.
you say that i'm not sweet to you.
but... i can vividly remember times when i am.
when i do things for you too.
sigh.
you said you've changed too much for me.but let me just remind you that before we got back together,YOU promised that you'll change.and i told you not to make promises that you can't keep.and i kept on telling you that.but you confidently insisted that you will and you want to.even when i told you i dont need you to change.now you're turning back and telling me that i should love you for who you are and you dont want to change? that you just want to be you?i dont know what you want.some people say that guys can promise you the stars and the moon to get you, but the moment they get you they forget all their promises and regret them.
is it true?
i hope it's not.
if you say that i shouldnt have gotten angry at you for what happened at my house the other day, that i should be nice even if i got angry,
i say i'm not sorry.
for one,
if that dishonesty is part of who you are, i'm telling you now that i cannot accept it.
for two,
i had my right to be pissed at whoever intruded into my privacy.
even my mum dont dare to look into my stuff cos i've screamed at her and cold-war-ed her for doing that before.
so you being my boyfriend doesnt grant you such privileges as well.
sigh.
i dunno why i'm saying all these.
as if it's gonna be of any use.
i'm just wasting my time.
i'm wasting my time constantly.
argh.
'fallen_angel'
1:22 PM
