Sunday, October 08, 2006
i'm sick.
fever, sore throat, runny nose, headache, etc.
and i'm quite sure that the main culprit is the freaking haze that's clouding our lives.
last night i went drinking again.
and i think my alcohol tolerance level has risen quite abit... drinking more than usual, i didnt get as woozy as i usually would.
but what i wanted to say was the the haze outdoors was worse than the haze in the pub, where people are smoking everywhere in an air-conditioned place.
wadehell lar.
and my sensitive nose just gave way and i woke up with all that i mentioned above.
wanted to take MC... but couldnt bear to waste my only 2 days of entitlement cos i'm sure i'll need more over the next four months.
sigh...
my head is spinning now...
and i still have to work morning shift tmw.
i need to sleep.
surviving on 3 to 4 hours of sleep each night is not good.
it's beginning to take its toll on me and on everything i do.
but i cant seem to sleep when i need to.
i fall asleep while trying to read emails at work.
i fall asleep during my meal breaks while eating.
i fall asleep on the bus and MRT.
i fall asleep in the car.
but the moment i lie in bed, when the lights are off and the night is quiet,
i cant sleep.
i close my eyes and i start dreaming even before i fall asleep.
and i find myself awake soon after.
i dunno why that is so...
too many messy thoughts in my mind maybe.
to everyone who's wondering what happened,
you can ask me if you really wanna know.
i'll tell you the facts and as for everything else, its up to you to decide.
the difference between now and before, is that i no longer want to be put within risk of being given an ultimatum of 15 minutes to delete my entries again.
and i no longer wanna be accused of victimising others and making myself seem like the poor thing in the story.
whatever happened, happened for a reason.
and in everything that happens between 2 people takes 2 hands to clap.
i'll stop here.
the more i go on, the higher the risks.
i'm still in pain but i'll recover.
maybe not completely, but i will.
i have to.
cos i cannot let the past repeat itself.
take care everyone...
i miss you all...
'fallen_angel'
8:17 PM